A Manifesto

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My name is Dom.

I believe in love. Love for ourselves, for others, for everything in our world.
Love and kindness should shape all our thoughts and actions: the world would be a far better place if we did.

I believe in passion; in honesty and self expression.
I believe in pursuing what it is important to us with dedication and determination. When you have a purpose, a calling, then you must follow it with all your heart or you will find yourself at odds with your own nature. Be yourself, and be yourself completely.
Express yourself fully, honestly and without any reservations. Do this in your thoughts and your words. Do it in your actions. Do it through your behaviour.

I believe in doing the right thing and making the world a better place.
Through constant awareness of our feelings and emotions, we can learn to feel when we are straying from our course and learn to act in a way that makes us truly happy and fulfilled.
Let yourself be your own guide.

I believe in taking responsibility.
For my thoughts, my words and my actions. For myself, for those I love: and for the world I live in.

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3, 2, 1, 0… 2013!


‘Set them free’: photo by Erik Johansson

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The world didn’t end. The year did. Some things never change.

Are you planning on changing things in 2013? As I talked about last year, beware of New Year’s resolutions.


How serious are you about changing your life? Are you happy with your life? Do you have a dream? What does it look like?


Now think about what you do every day. Is what you do going to get you to your goal?

What can you do right now that will help you get a step closer to your dream?

What would you have to do to make your dream come true?

What would you gain by realising your dream? Would it actually make you happy?

Would you lose something if your dream came true? What would you have to give up to make it happen? Everything comes at a cost. There will be sacrifices to be made, risks to be run.

Are you happy with the dream just being a dream?


Work out what you want from life. Work out what you have to do to do it. Then do it. Keep on doing it.

Of course the road will be hard, but nothing worth having comes easy. Take responsibility for your life. In every moment you have a choice: walk the path that takes you to your goals. That’s all.

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“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle

Q:Date a man who writes with less flattery, who strives for his dreams and not describe it too deep. Date a man who talks about his dream, and not one who uses it to fish. Date a man who talks about how you fit in his dreams, and not why you should love him. But I guess, maybe... go ahead- date a man like this, but don't you dare marry a man who speaks like him.

tomatoeraincow

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.
~ T. E. Lawrence

Of all the responses I’ve had to ‘Date a man who dreams’, this is one of the most thought provoking and interesting.

My dreams are always changing, shaped by my experiences, my successes and failures. The details become less important, while the core of what I aim for becomes ever clearer.

I never expected that post to reach so many people. I wrote it for a girl, at a time when I felt that we were slipping apart. I loved her and wanted to be with her: I wrote it in part to show her what I would do for her, and in part to convince myself that I deserved to be with her. Dreams are one thing, reality another. Confusing the two can cause a lot of pain, as was the case here.

Things didn’t work out as I thought I wanted. But on the other hand, this dream inspired me to pursue others, and I also helped her further her own. Even the death of this dream led to others being birthed or becoming concrete. Dreams change: knowing when to hold on to them and when to let them go is an art that I am yet to master.

I’m afraid of my dreams sometimes. I’m afraid my dreams are selfish, that I am all style and no substance, or that my dreams will never come to pass. Sometimes I think I am dreaming about the wrong things. I am a most imperfect man, and many of my dreams are far from being actualised. I write to share my thoughts with others. I write to share my dreams. But I also write in order to show myself that my dreams have meaning, to remind myself of why these dreams are so important to me.

My dream was always to reach people. But dreams can be dangerous: many people keep dreams that they will never realise, an unattainable goal that they can imagine will make their lives complete. So: do not date a man (or a woman) who dreams but does nothing to make them reality.

The worst thing I can imagine would be to leave my dreams unfulfilled. I am not writing for the sake of writing. I write to learn as well as to teach. I write to make things happen. Some of my dreams are unfulfilled, but I know that every day I do something to make them reality. Everyone dreams: not everyone remembers them when they are awake.

I stand by that last line: “Date a man who lives his dreams.”

Perfection.

“Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.” - Savaldor Dali

This is some great advice.

I’ve had a lot of positive feedback from one of my old posts in the last few days which is always nice. I feel inspired to go out and write again. It’s important to have belief in yourself, and your encouragement and support helps immensely.

As a writer, and indeed as a person, my worst tendency is probably to avoid doing things if I feel unprepared or unable to do it perfectly. It’s why I have several nearly finished articles sitting around, and why I have numerous projects that I’ve put off starting or haven’t finished.

The more you work on things, the better it gets. It’s as simple as that.

Go forth and create!

The 12 Commandments of Carlos Gracie Sr.

1. Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

2. Talk to all people about happiness, health, and prosperity.

3. Give all your friends the feeling of being valued.

4. Look at things from an enlightened point of view and turn your positivity into reality.

5. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and always expect the best.

6. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are with your own.

7. Forget about past mistakes and focus your energy on the achievements of tomorrow.

8. Always make those around you happy and always have a smile for those who talk to you.

9. Take the time you need to improve yourself, but never spend time criticising others.

10. Be big enough not to feel unsatisfied, be noble enough not to feel anger, be strong enough not to feel fear, and be happy enough not to feel frustration.

11. Hold a good opinion about yourself and show that to the world, not through your words but through your work.

12. Believe that the world will be on your side, as long as you stay true to the best of yourself.

Carlos Gracie Sr. Founder of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu